The One-Armed Philosophy Professor Who Changed How I Lead
An F, an open door, and the questions that became the foundation of how I coach.
Years ago, I was a first year university student studying philosophy. I wasn't a genius in high school but finished with a respectable A- grade. First year university had a bunch of prerequisite classes and some electives. One of the electives I took was Philosophy. I can't remember why I picked it. Maybe I thought it would be easy. Maybe I was curious. I started philosophy and loved it. It opened my eyes to human interaction and ways to solve or at least understand human issues. On my first essay assignment I got an F. What? An F! That was a slap in the face, but the other thing philosophy taught me was how to write logical arguments and the ability to express them with clear writing. None of which I did in the essay. Hence the F.
I remember the professor had an "open door policy". Everyone says that, not everyone does it. I was young and wanted to discuss something with the professor. I knew where his office was and looked at his door. He had a schedule on it. There was time blocked out for "Student open door time". I took note and came back the next day at that time. Walking down the academic, block-walled hallway was scary. Philosophy was way out of my realm. I was good at mathematics, computer programming and economics, but I was a rookie at philosophy. I took a deep breath, knocked on the door, heard "come in", and entered. My professor was 60 years old, a little overweight with a full head of hair. He was wearing the standard professor attire of the day. A tweed jacket with patches on the elbows. He was missing one arm. I knew he lost the arm fighting in WW2. I was aware of the arm, but he never seemed to be troubled by its not being there.
He offered me a seat, and I sat down facing him, and I remember him asking how things were going. Not "what are you doing here" but a "what's happening?" question. I started rambling on about a logic question. The question had something to do with why a person had behaved the way they did. The professor asked me, "So tell me what you think about that?" That stopped me and made me think. I remember I replied with a terrible answer. Something even derogatory. Like "they grew up on the wrong side of the tracks", or "their family was lower income". Something like that. He then asked me a few other open questions. He got me to realize that I was biased and not asking the right questions to learn more about what was going on. That was huge for me. I learned that I was taking my ideas as the answer, rather than asking what the answer might be. Again, this was my realization, not the professor telling me I had to think that way. At the end of our time he suggested some reading, politely signalling the end of our conversation. I thanked him and off I went.
This interaction changed my life. I didn't know it at the time but this was the first "coaching" experience I ever had. I had great athletic coaches but this was the first academic coach I had met. I took that learning and started using open questioning techniques to allow people to express things, to help them learn things. It ended up being my favourite class and made me a lifelong learner.
Years later I found a name for what he was doing. Edgar Schein calls it "Humble Inquiry" — asking questions you don't already know the answer to, out of genuine curiosity about the other person. That's exactly what he was doing in that office: he never corrected my terrible answer. He just kept asking, and let me hear it for myself.
To this day I don't worry about people not knowing "the numbers" or how to write an AI prompt or how to do a spreadsheet. To me these are practical skill sets, easily learned. The hard part to teach is the human side. The "What's going on" questions. The questions you ask and you never know where it's going to lead you. That is the foundation of my coaching practice at The Margin Builders.
You're probably thinking your shop isn't a philosophy classroom. You've got quotes going out, a crew short two guys, and no time to sit across a desk asking open-ended questions. Fair. But look at what the professor's questions cost him: five minutes and an open door. And look at what they bought: fifty years later I'm still telling you about them. The question isn't whether you have time to ask. It's whether you have the courage to.
The other thing the one-armed professor taught me was the courage to ask questions. This helps me all the time in business and life. Instead of me having a preformed biased opinion about what the issue is and how to fix it, I learned to listen to what the person's issue is, and the ideas they have to deal with it. Then my role is simply to turn those ideas into actions and track them.
Once for example, I had to fire a salesperson. He was my first sales hire and I picked him because he made me laugh. Bad move. What I missed was that he was an alcoholic and racist.
At a corporate function hosted by our largest distributor in the area, this person drank too much and was being loud, racist, and angry. He had to be escorted out of the event. One of my customers told me about his behaviour and I fired him. One of the things I then had to do was meet the client at a trade show and apologise. This customer was a large respected distributor and a big customer for us. I was frightened but I knew from my university days that dealing with the issue, asking questions and coming to a resolution would get results. I walked up to this customer, introduced myself and started asking open questions and listening. At the end he said to me, "I knew who you were. I was watching you. I wanted to see if you would make the difficult move of coming over to talk to me. You did. We talked. We resolved the issue. That's the type of person I want to work with. Consider me back on as one of your distributors."
There are many stories like this. These stories are not about hiring. They are about facing people issues head-on with open, non-judgemental questions. Because at the end of the day that's what it is all about.
So what difficult issue are you facing that you could address with open questions?
One next step: This week, pick the one conversation you've been avoiding — a customer, a foreman, a supplier — and walk over. Open with "What's going on?" Then stop talking and listen.
Further reading:
- Humble Inquiry — Edgar H. Schein (Berrett-Koehler, 2013). The gentle art of asking instead of telling — the professor's method, written down.
- The Coaching Habit — Michael Bungay Stanier (Box of Crayons Press, 2016). Seven questions that turn a busy manager into the coach in the room.
- Trillion Dollar Coach — Eric Schmidt, Jonathan Rosenberg & Alan Eagle (HarperBusiness, 2019). Proof that the best-run companies in the world were built by a coach who asked before he told.